I'm not entirely sure how this song ended up in my music library, but it did.
Also not entirely sure this is the right version, Ehtiopian wi-fi won't let me listen properly, but I was inspired by a version not in the movie 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. I actually have to extras. But I guess the lyrics are the same.
Also not entirely sure this is the right version, Ehtiopian wi-fi won't let me listen properly, but I was inspired by a version not in the movie 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. I actually have to extras. But I guess the lyrics are the same.
“Everyone understand?” T'ibs asked,
looking at his crew mates.
Ch'oha nodded, but S'hay still looked a
little unsure.
“What?” T'ibs snapped at him.
“It's just that, we are breaking
several laws doing this. Not just Earthen laws, but Interplanetary
Laws.”
“So?”
“If we get caught...”
Ch'oha spat on the roof. “We're not
gonna get caught. Look, we're wearing Earthen garments. We've got
masks,” he dangled a rubber face from his fingers, “and I'm
taking out the cameras.”
“But what about eye witnesses?”
“They'll think we're humans! Plus,
it's a quick timed port. We'll only be down there for two seconds
and then the ship will bring us back here along with what ever human
at least two of us are touching. There won't be time for an eye
witness to see things!”
S'hay still seemed unsure, but T'ibs
wasn't going to give him the time to back out. He looked at his
watch. “Ten seconds till the camera go off, thirteen till port. Put
on your masks.”
They did so, the rubber faces covering
their bright white skin. T'ibs looked back at his watch. “Four,
three, two, one.”
They were standing on a podium covered
with a red fabric, and there was a three foot candy cane and a chair
between them and their target. Two seconds, that's all they had.
They ran towards the man in the chair. Ch'oha got tangled up in the
candy cane, but S'hay and T'ibs put their hands on the red suited fat
human just in time.
And then they were back on the roof,
fat man blinking and Ch'oha cussing about bruises.
“Hurry!” T'ibs hissed at him and he
scampered into the ship towards the cockpit. T'ibs grabbed the rope
on the roof just for this situation and started trying it around the
human before he could realize what was going on. When he finished,
S'hay helped him drag the man up the ramp into the hold. T'ibs hit
the button on the side to close it and once Ch'oha's instruments
showed the door was closed the ship's thrusters went from idle to
full power and they lifted up over the roof of the mall before
shooting skyward into the atmosphere.
S'hay went to take off his mask, but
T'ibs stopped him. “It tastes funny.”
“So what, this guy here is a witness
too you know.”
“Oh. But you know, most humans don't
have ships like this...”
T'ibs ignored him and turned to the fat
man. “How do we contact the real Santa Claus?”
“Pardon?”
“Santa! We want to talk to him!”
“Hate to break it to you, but he's
not actually real.”
“Shut up! We have proof!”
Ch'oha walked in, leaving the ship to
it's own devices.
“Look, he's pretty smart this Santa.
And supposed to have all these powers. We'll just have to rely on the
back up plan.”
“I guess.”
“Ship.” Ch'oha said to the ceiling
and it beeped to show it was listening. “Take us to the North Pole
and hover.”
Earthen lore stated Santa Claws was or
had been some type of saint and T'ibs had a hard time thinking that a
saint wouldn't 1) keep track of those who impersonate him since they
worked as messengers and 2) come to their aid. Having the ship near
Santa's house diminished the time between now and when they met.
The ship rocked.
Maybe the time was a little to short.
T'ibs was nervous now about actually meeting the fellow, even if lore
called him jolly. They did just kidnap one of his messengers.
“Ship, status report.” Ch'oha said.
“A one man craft has just docked on
the top of the hull.”
Footsteps sounded from above them, and
S'hay played with the edge of his mask. “I told you this was a bad
idea.”
“Shut up!” T'ibs told him.
There the sound, of all things, of a
Shatot laser and all three of them looked up to see a hole being
carved into the metal above them. The wobbly circle of metal clashed
to the floor and down dropped none other than Santa Claus.
He was not as large as lore made him
out to be, no stomach jutting out over his pants. But he did have a
beard and long white hair and rosy cheeks. He was not jolly at the
moment though, his eyes were not twinkling stars. They were twinkling
lasers and T'ibs was very aware of the one in Santa's hand.
“Look here!” T'ibs yelled at Santa,
stepping forward and taking the human's gaze from S'hay. “It's not
fair that you only deliver gifts to Earth. We want them on Shatot
too!”
Santa turned to T'ibs and in perfect
Baci said “I have been on Shatot. I know the people and its culture
and know that you are not extremists but rather average citizens of
my old planet. The culture is disgusting and not willing to change.
Gifts to your children would just make it worse, while here on Earth
I can help the children grow in the right direction. No, you will
not get them.”
And with that, Santa turned his laser
on all three of them. They evaporated in a bust of red dust. After
untying the mall Santa he turned around and inspected the ship. His
was a flying junk yard compared to this beauty, and there was more
cargo space in this one. It would be much easier to deliver gifts to
the moon with this ship.
-------------------
Hehe, Santa's an alien trying to improve the human race. I'll have to look into this idea a little more later.
What a great story! Hope to see it around again next Christmas :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Ato Z-ing
Jemima at Jemima's blog
Perhaps. I might even through in the Easter Bunny.
DeleteI love this story.
ReplyDeletePeanut Butter and Whine
Thanks! I enjoyed writing it. Santa surprised me at the end.
Delete